Tip of the Day: Relationships

Yesterday, I wrote a post about Mirrors, and it reminded me of someone I briefly crossed paths with.

The moment I met this person, we clicked instantly because we were so much alike. We shared the same sense of humor, we shared the same vibes, we even shared the same quirks (and nothing can make you feel more seen and understood than finding the same kind of weirdo as you).

Anyway, it’s all fun and games until you realize you can’t float on the surface forever. You can either dive deeper willingly or be pulled under from exhaustion (and, in most cases, drown).

But, as soon as we peeked under the surface, we found we were not just alike – we were exactly the same. The only difference was that, in order to do something, I needed an external push, whereas this person required permission. So even though we both wanted the same thing, we couldn’t do anything, because I wouldn’t make a move on my own, and he wouldn’t do it without me telling him. So basically, we were both stuck in the same cycle, paralyzed and waiting for the other person to break it first.

Naturally, things ended there. He left abruptly, and I was left with a bruised ego. But ego aside, if he hadn’t left, I would have slowly phased things out. And it would have ended exactly the same way eventually, just a bit slower and on a friendlier note.

Because once you pass that turning point, where change is possible, you are destined to repeat the same cycle, with the same person or with someone new.

But here’s the good news, the bad news, and the ugly truth.

The bad news is that until either of us breaks this cycle, neither of us will be happy. And this is true for all relationships, not just romantic ones. Business, friendships, family ties… it’s all the same.

The good news is that you don’t really need the other person to break the cycle – only you can break your own cycles, and no one else.

The ugly truth, however, is that if you are aware that there’s a cycle to be broken, you need to do it immediately. You cannot delude yourself by saying, “Now I know, and I’ll do it differently next time.” You won’t. Because your mind will play millions of tricks on you, giving you the illusion of escape, and you will only become aware of it once it’s too late again.

So, if you need to break a cycle – do it now. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, it’s scary. But there is nothing scarier than spinning in the same circle, again and again, for the rest of your life.

🎤