Diaphanous Daffodil Dragon, or How to Sell Fog, Smoke, & Other Intangible Assets

Disclaimer

Before I start, just a heads-up. This is going to be a mash-up of several posts – some already written, some in the making, some yet to be penned out.

 

The Language, the Culture, the Mindset

I come from Croatia, and in Croatia, we have a saying: “prodavati maglu”. Prodavati maglu literally means “to sell fog”, and figuratively – trying to deceive or trick others by offering something that seems valuable but is actually worthless or illusory. Like selling something that’s not real or tangible. Like services. Or – fog.

The concept behind prodavati maglu is not unique just to Croatian. Virtually every language out there has its own equivalent. In Spain they “venden humo”, and in Italy, they “vendono fumo”, which, roughly translated to English, makes them smoke sellers. On the other hand, in Germany they “verkaufen Luftschlösser”, which are basically castles in the sand. A much more appealing purchase than snake oil, one could argue. (And, btw, who would have ever guessed that Germans are so romantic?)

 

The Fog & the Frog(s)

Anyway, I’ve known this term since I was a child, but I never really understood its meaning until I founded my language school back in 2010. It turned out – people are not so keen on anything new, different, or anything that in any way deviates from traditionally established standards, even though they are all for great changes, new methods, and fresh perspectives.

We had these amazing, top-quality programs, and funnily enough – those were the very things that landed us interviews and meetings. However, 9/10 clients (we predominantly worked with B2B customers) opted for something “more traditional.”

In my humble opinion, few things are as messed up as the educational system(s world-wide). Yet even though everyone is aware of the issue, if not an ardent advocate for change, they still tacitly tag along everyone else on the paths well-trodden. Like frogs in the fog.

 

What Is Sales, Anyway?

Fast forward a few years later, I realized that I would never be able to focus on the things I truly wanted, which included creative work, if I was bound to waste 70% of my work time on activities related to running the school. I never really wanted to be a school manager/director/owner. I just wanted to do my creative work, language-wise, on my own, free without any external constraints or limitations. So, I hired a person, who I today call a friend, to help me out with the managerial activities, including (but obviously not limited to) coordination, organization, and sales.

Since this person came primarily from the sales industry, I tried to set things straight immediately by explaining that I didn’t expect him to meet certain targets like he had in his previous job. Rather, his first and foremost task was to foster the strong relationships we had already built with our existing clients, and then, if opportunity presented itself, to expand.

Anyone who has ever tried to sell both can tell you that there’s an abyss of difference between selling tangible products and intangible services. It’s like selling chimneys and smoke. In most cases, you can make people find value in buying a new chimney, whether they actually need one or not – if they don’t need one now, they will or might need one soon, because the old one is… well, old, and the new one has a modern design, is sturdier, and comes with a plethora of state-of-the art features. But trying to persuade people to buy – smoke… That’s a whole new field of mist. (Pun not intended). Even if smoke was the exact thing people needed at that very moment, very few of them would actually opt for the purchase.

The same parallel could be drawn with our language courses. I tried to explain that we were not looking for buyers, but rather partners and associates – or more precisely, collaborators. Selling courses isn’t exactly the same as selling pens, for example. Once you buy a pen, you can either use it or not. You can tuck it in a drawer and keep it there for the next few months. You can gift it to someone. You can throw it in a trash because… well, you can. It’s only a pen. And it’s yours. You can do whatever you want to do with it. But buying language courses is something completely different, as the Monty Python crew would say. Buying language courses requires your constant engagement, collaboration, and presence. It requires your continuous focus on getting better, your sharp desire for self-improvement, and your keen will for personal growth. Of course, you can buy a language course and not show up, but in that case, you are really not the partner we are looking for, and you could have saved us all the time and the effort by just buying a bunch of pens instead.

As a true salesperson, my colleague believed every person out there is a (potential) buyer. I, on the other hand, firmly believed that not every person is the client we want to collaborate with. Surprisingly, this clash of beliefs leveled off by striking a nice new rhythm to the school’s business.

 

Smoke on the Horizon

With my then colleague at the steering wheel, I finally had the chance to focus on what I actually wanted to do – creative work. This time, not just language-wise, but creative work in all aspects of both words. It was about 2019 that I accidentally (as the best and greatest things tend to happen) had an encounter with a person whose path briefly crossed with mine, and who completely changed my own life path by planting a seed of belief that I was, in fact, on the right course and that I should pursue further what I was doing, no matter what.

As it usually goes, one thing led to another, and what started as improv sessions, soon turned into skills training called “Surviving on Your Feet”, and eventually crystalized into what PREXcoaching® is today.

One of my friends (because whenever you embark on a crazy journey, you take your best friends with you – they are your most ardent critics – if they aren’t, they aren’t your true friends), who was a regular at the SOYF sessions, suggested at one point I should expand the pool of the participants. “Because this is so different, this is so fun, this is so great, everyone should try it at least once.”

Though I basically agreed with her on that matter, one thing kept bothering me. Involving more people (than those already present, even though the group was slowly but steadily growing) would require a succinct pitch of what we did. Yet somehow, I just couldn’t find the proper words to describe the substance behind it. Looking for an inspiration, I asked her, “Well, you brought several people here. How do you tell them what we do?” She said, “Oh, I tell them we come here, we play some games, we have lots of fun, and we learn a bunch of stuff and things, you know.” Oh, yeah. I do know – how wonderful: come, play, games, fun, stuff and things – all the right words to describe substance – not foggy at all. Honestly, to this day, I still can’t figure out what was more surprising for me at the time – the fact that people actually decided to take her up on that invitation, of the fact that people decided to keep coming.

As if selling language courses was not challenging enough, now I had to find a way to sell something no one had ever experienced before. Easy peasy, with a squeeze of rotten lemons. Since I had already passed the sales ball to my colleague, I told him he should attend one of the SOYF sessions and see for himself what I was doing so he could know how to sell it. I mean, how does one describe a dragon if one has never seen one? To a person who has also never seen a dragon, and perhaps, and most likely, does not even believe in the existence of dragons?

(For better understanding, see the featured image of a picture that I painted at that time called: “Diaphanous Daffodil Dragon”. P.S. If you don’t see the dragon, like some of my friends, don’t worry – that’s because it’s diaphanous.)

However, to go back to the main storyline, as SOYF was originally held only in English, my colleague decided to wait until I held at least one session exclusively in Croatian. And that was perfectly fine, at that moment.

 

Castles in the Sand

A year later, the COVID crisis struck, but interestingly though, nothing really changed much. SOYF sessions switched online, as did the entire school, even before it became mandatory, and everything was great until 2021.

It was in spring 2021 that I became really ill and spent the next year virtually bed-bound. During the time, I had the privilege that most people only get on their deathbed – to contemplate my life as it was about to end. And you know what the scariest part of that whole experience was? Not the fact that I was not getting better, or that I would probably have to live with chronic pain for the rest of my life, but the fact that I would rather die that very instant than continue living a life that was not mine. A both ironic and devastating conclusion, considering the fact that I myself created my life with everyone and everything in it.

 

When the Fog Clears, and the Smoke Reveals a Torch

I constantly kept wondering who this person living my life was, and why she was so keen on pursuing something others deemed fit for her. Soon enough, things went from bad to worse, and I had to make another tough choice. Since doing a myriad of things like before was out of every question, I had to focus on one thing, and one thing only that would keep me occupied in those rare moments when I was able to do something. That one thing, if I ever found myself in the same situation again and asked myself the same questions, for which I could say – this is what I did, this is what I leave behind, this is my legacy.

A little digression seems fitting here. A long, long time ago, a friend of mine, whose acumen I admire very much, had an encounter with an angel investor. His professional interests blended medicine with IT, and he had this amazing app idea. Obviously, working two jobs left him little time to develop an app that required full-time commitment. So, he thought he’d seek an investor who’d help him fund his app.

After the first few polite exchanges, the investor asked him about his idea and the scope of his personal investment, meaning, if and how much he was willing to invest of his own funds into his own idea. My friend explained what he had in mind to make the idea work, but suddenly, the investor asked him how he’d arrived there. “On my bike,” my friend retorted. The investor asked him if he was willing to sell his bike to fund part of the app. My friend responded no, as the bike would only make up a meagre amount of funds, and besides, he and his wife had only one car, and he needed to stay mobile. The investor thanked him for coming and told him to return when he believed in his ideas.

We had a chat about his experience later and decided that the investor was really rude, that it was so unruly of him to ask my friend to give up on his only bike, as if that could fund more than 0.1% of the app, and then we concluded that he probably wasn’t even a true angel investor in the first place.

Fast forward a few years later to the moment in question, and there I was – totally getting it. I was ready and willing to give up *everything* I had and owned to make my ideas – my dreams – come true, and nothing would stop me. In hindsight, I couldn’t even understand our previous point of view anymore. It seemed… so irrational. Well, I guess – that was it, then – the school was out, SOYF-soon-to-be-PREXcoaching was in. Out with the old, in with the new.

Now, making that decision was quite easy, but implementing it was anything but. It’s funny, but it took me almost an entire year – let that sink in – an entire year – to stop reverting to the old ways, to finally wind down the school business, and to dedicate myself fully, truly, and solely to PREXcoaching®. (The national ® came soon after that, and the international ones are still coming in.)

It really is funny, and true, though it sounds like a cliché, but once you decide to follow your heart and do what you want and should do, the universe just plays along. The obstacles disappear, the hurdles fall, and the barriers vanish into thin air. The path virtually materializes before you, and basically, at some point, you stop wondering how that’s even possible. You do what you want, you do what you love, you do what you should do. That’s all that matters, and that’s all that there is to it.

 

Sunshine Is Intangible, Too

In case you were wondering, that was around the time my colleague found another job in a more fitting environment, where he could focus on what he too truly loves, and that’s sales. However, Lady Karma still had her eye on him, and even though he was trying to avoid my sessions with all his might, luck would have it that his current boss enjoys trying new things, and eventually, he had to attend one of my coaching sessions. I guess the fault was in his stars. Again, no pun intended.

After the session, he told me in confidence – “You know, this thing of yours is really great. I thought it would be something… boring, or I don’t know. I didn’t expect this. This is really great. And you know what? Now I understand what you were talking about. I think I could manage this in English. I see no reason why not.”

And you know, it’s not that I like telling people “I told you so”, but I really love being right. Who doesn’t? And just like that, having listened to his affirmation (primarily aimed at himself), it finally dawned on me. All this time, I kept telling people, in terms of expectations, “expect the unexpected,” but what does that even mean? How do you indeed describe a dragon to someone who has never seen one? And how on earth do you expect others to describe dragons to other people who have also never seen one either? And, as mentioned before, most probably don’t even believe in the existence of dragons. You might as well give them a handful of fog and tell them to pass it on.

But – here’s the thing:

Sometimes, like my colleague, you just need someone to push you into the water to make you see that the only thing preventing you from swimming – or staying afloat – are your own faulty (self-)beliefs.

And sometimes, you don’t need to tell others that you saw a dragon. Why would you, when you can just take their hand and show them the dragon so they can see it for themselves?

Which is why, luckily, I don’t sell education anymore; I offer experience. (And a lovely view of dragons.) And it’s completely up to you to decide what to do with this.

Bottom line: you can give people a handful of fog, but you can also give them a handful of sunshine.

Keep shining – sunshine, though intangible, brims with substance. 😉