The Assumption of the Acquired

Then

The year is 2013, and I’m teaching Business English. I only work with adult learners, and my goal is to make their lessons as practical, usable, and memorable as possible.

That’s why, instead of dry grammar and random textbook articles (some are great, mind you, but most of them just serve the purpose of meeting the lesson topic requirements), I bring a bunch of business and skill honing articles we all might find useful (practical, and memorable, of course).

Today, I’m bringing a post by Adam Walker titled Assumptions That Kill Communication, which I personally, as a young entrepreneur, professional, and teacher, found highly relatable, impactful, and on point.

For me, the assumption that hit the hardest was the Assumption of Intent:

The assumption of intent. Assuming that we know someone else’s intent during (or before) we communicate with them is dangerous. For example, I got an email this weekend from a client that simply said, “Please call me on Monday.” My first thought was, oh great, they are unhappy and going to complain about something. But in thinking that, I was assuming that this client’s intent in talking with me is negative when it very well may be just to touch base or to clarify something about the project. – Adam Walker

For some reason, I had always done that, and I also noticed that most of my students did the same. This has caused me countless restless nights, loads of unnecessary stress, and heaps of worries. The plus side, I guess, were the relief instances when most of these assumed negative situations turned out to be figments of my imagination. But still, let us not forget that reliefs are not nor should ever be considered moments of happiness.

Anyway, not to digress any further – naturally, and logically, for the next few (I’m gonna generously go with) years, I kept these assumptions in mind, being fully aware of my own faulty judgments that may cloud my communication with others.

Now

Fast forward many years later, and it’s 2025 already. I’m reaching out to a potential client where, after a slightly awkward conversation, a person directs me to their HR colleague who is in charge of L&D in their company but is sadly on sick leave at the moment.

Based on two earlier calls that didn’t lead anywhere, the only logical conclusion that pops to my mind is – sure she is… But I get her email, and I reach out, and several days later she responds, telling me to propose a time for a meeting.

Great, I think, and with the time, I also suggest meeting in person in a bar nearby to combine getting a stretch, fresh air, warm sun, and hot coffee – which she politely declines and suggests an online meeting instead.

Since we are about a 10-min walk apart, and there are at least 20 bars within reach, I obviously interpret her response as a rejection and decide not to give too much thought to it anymore.

And finally, a week later, we meet online, and she apologizes for not being able to meet me in person, but she had an operation recently, and since her company is very understanding about her situation, she is currently working from home.

I tell her it’s totally fine and wish her speedy (full) recovery.

But it’s not (fine). And all I can think is – OMG, I’m such a 💩! 🙈 I can’t believe I thought that! 🤦

Long Story Short

It’s 2025, and I’m back to the basics, adding a new assumption to the list:

The Assumption of the Acquired. Just because you may have learned, acquired, or known something at some point in your life, or you do now, it does not mean you will tomorrow. – Biljka

I know – logical, right? But how many times have you assumed the same?! And what’s even worse –all this coming from a person who spent years – years! – teaching languages to people skipping class and seeing how much one missed lesson or one longer break meant.

You can see the Assumption of the Acquired at work in every math formula you’ve ever learned and used at school, every joke you’ve ever heard and retold, every self-help tip you took and applied – and then conveniently forgot about.

The good news is – and also logical – everything you’ve ever known has not disappeared, you haven’t actually forgotten it. It’s here, a bit rusty but still ready to use. You just need to pick it up, dust it off, and harness its power again.

It’s that easy (to fall into old patterns and spiral down the rabbit hole). The difficult part is to remember (that if you’ve broken them once, you already know how to do it again).

Our brains are constantly bombarded with new information – some good, some bad. Our memory isn’t infinite, and well… new information replacing the old is bound to happen at some point.

One way to deal with this is having an easily accessible database of key info that you can revisit when things get a bit fuzzy – so that you don’t have to relearn it the hard way every time from scratch (like me, for example).

So now, excuse me, I’m gonna go print Adam Walker’s post, hand-write the new(ly acquired) assumption, and hang it on the wall.

What’s the worst assumption in communication you’ve ever made?

Get in touch & let us know.

To help raise awareness about the Assumption of the Acquired, share the post.

And don’t forget – never assume! Because if you assume… Well… you know the rest… 😁