How to Find Your People (Even if You’re Delightfully Weird)

I was just wondering… Are you a smooth small talker through and through, or do you have a small talk moment that pushes the cringe button?

Or are you weird – and perfectly normal?

You know, like when someone gives you that little nudge, Tell me something about yourself.

I don’t know about you, for me, this kind of clunky verbal elbowing to push someone into the spot a) lights up a nice, cozy atmosphere of a job interview – albeit one going wrong – and b) might work if you’re under twenty, but if you’re over 40, it’s just a blunt invitation to hijack the time.

Me – I’m a very open person. But I’m also very awkward, weird, and loud. When I was younger, I tried to hide that, but several years ago, I got really sick, and at one point I decided, Oh well, f*ck it, life’s too short anyway.

And since I also learned the lesson to value my – and everyone else’s – time, I decided to turn this cringy question into a perfect opportunity to show exactly how awkward, weird, and loud I am – just to save us all a lot of time in the future.

Here’s the thing: when you share something quirky but unexpected about yourself, you give people permission to do the same — and that’s where real bonding starts.

They say that if you want to shock people, you should tell them something weird about yourself. So, I took up that advice early and started sharing something weird about myself.

Which is why, whenever someone said, Tell me something about yourself, I’d respond with, I like when my food is arranged geometrically.

At first, when I was testing this with the people I know and feel comfortable with, I was very shy, and I’d fumble and mumble, like, You know, I do have something to share… I like it when my food is geometrically arranged… And people would be like – You’re crazy. Ha ha.

Then I’d feel a bit bad, exposed, and self-conscious, but I’d also think to myself, Well f* you, you only drink red tea! Which is perfectly fine. But still… it doesn’t make you any better than me.

So, at one moment, I decided to ditch the guilt and just dove in headfirst.

– Tell me something about yourself.
– I like it when my food is geometrically arranged, so I always rearrange it to meet that criterion. Asymmetry is also ok, but it has to be meaningful. And geometrical.

And just to be on the safe side, I’d seal it with an ear-ripping giggle.

But as soon as I changed my approach – from shy to dead-on serious, because I was – a funny thing happened. 10/10 people would flinch. But 9/10 people would say something like, I don’t like it when my food is touching. Or, I walk within the tiles. Or, I count the bollards. Or, I only eat red candies. Which, again, is completely fine. Right?

And just like that – in less than one minute, I’d bonded faster with a perfect stranger than I had with some people I’ve known my entire life. I mean, even my dad only found out about it recently.

The funny thing is – it turns out there are more weirdos out there than I thought, just waiting to be poked out of their shell and invited to play.

Yet you know what? My little confession does not make me any less weird; it just makes me a bit braver. And much prouder of myself.

And… surprisingly… not that much different from you.

 

So, if you have your own little quirk, the kind that makes people blink and then grin – and you do – serve it as a starter for your next conversation.

It truly is the best possible way to find your people.

And identify those who only eat red candies – so you can successfully avoid them.

We can’t have them eating all our favorite candies, right? 😁

In the meantime, share the post to make someone feel a little more normal, or get in touch so we can swap notes. 🤪